In fact, that's one place where I differ vehemently from most people in defining asexuality. They insist that asexuals don't feel any sexual attraction. I say it includes people who are capable of noticing that someone is sexy, but they don't feel driven to act on that. Your reference to enjoying sensual or erotic touch without particularly wanting an orgasm is another great example.

Sexual people typically don't feel those things, they tend to be driven by sexual urges, sometimes beyond reason (because if humans could logic out of mating instincts, the species would probably die out).

Thus, anyone who doesn't feel strongly driven to copulate and to pair off will experience difficulties in dealing with the mainstream, and their experiences will often match those of other people on the acespec, even if there are variations in how acefolk feel.