Interlude

[fuzzyred]

So, I need to do a proper weekly post, as I'm already a day late, but first, this small note to myself.

I have realized I need to start asking dudes if it's a booty call. I don't want to sound vain, and I hate assuming everything is about sex, because to me it's not, but the evidence keeps stacking up to say that it is for the vast majority of everybody else. I always get asked if I want to hang out, but 90% of the time, they want some kind of sex thing. And I don't mind this sometimes, but I'd like to know up front if that's what they're after. So. Next time a male friend/friendly acquaintance asks me to hang out, I'm going to polite ask if they actually mean hanging out, or if they want sexyfuntimes, and I can apologize for making assumptions if I need to.

*headdesk* Has anyone written a manual for dealing with and reading people yet? And if so, can I pretty please buy it, or at least rent it? I can pay in cash, fiber crafts, or editing. *joking but not really*

Comments

[technoshaman]

I think just asking straight out, if they're new or new-ish, is probably a starting approach... because of the *dudes*, too many of them *are* all about "scoring". :P~~~~~~

[fuzzyred]

Yes, sadly so, and I'm bad at telling the difference between wanting to be friends and wanting to "score". I think asking is definitely going to be the approach going forward.

[technoshaman]

Hint culture sucks. Ask culture, while sometimes awkward up front, builds trust...

[fuzzyred]

I lean more hint myself, though I'm awful at actually catching hints. I'm just equally awful at actually asking for things I want or need.

[mdlbear]

I'm awful at actually catching hints. I'm just equally awful at actually asking for things <<

That sounds very familiar.

[fuzzyred]

Ya, it can have it's difficulties sometimes.

I find it's less confusing if people just straight tell me what they want or ask for something (of course sometimes I have a hard time saying no), but I tend to default to throwing out hints myself, because that is less scary that asking, and a missed hint is easier to handle than a straight no.