I think I've gone 'round the bend again...

[fuzzyred]

If you go around enough bends, do you end up facing normal again?

Sitting at work (on afternoons this week) and not for the first time I am bargaining with the machines. Now, I talk to everything so this isn't strange in and of itself, but imagining the machines as having an inky, swirly mass as a spirit? Ones who feed off oil and dirt, and have different likes and interests and like treats?

Logic says it's just my imagination and they are figments I created to pass the time, but it doesn't feel like I made them up, they feel more like entities that have their own preferences. I'm not a writer, so I wouldn't know, but maybe this is how some authors feel about their characters? Or are their actually spirit beings in the machines that appreciate fluffy blankets, kind words, and various spices?

Comments

awwww!!!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

Honest, Machines know people in the office. The mass fax/print/scan/copy/store/whoever else knows what else it do? at my old job had favorite people.

It knew if you were talking bad about it and it would find a way to spray you with toner or belch ink on your shoes or create the Worst Paper Jam Ever in the middle of a huge job.

It knew if you were being nice, I swear it knew how to PURR.

It PLAYED PRANKS ON ITS OWN!!! I kind you not.

It was either SENTIENT or possessed by rogue office gremlins. The ones that steal the good pens and take your best white out as tribute.

But I think it was sentient.

At my current job, there is one computer that refuses to work correctly for me. It eats data I input. It goes on the fritz and shuts down right when I need it. It hates me. And it knows I am annoyed with it. It won't tell me what it wants either, so I call it Oscar and I don't think it likes that.

Re: awwww!!!!!!!

[fuzzyred]

LMAO Thank you for the laugh. I'm sorry there is an office computer that hates you.

I definitely agree with the reaction to people's moods. Sometimes I would swear the machines are throwing a tantrum, and *nothing* works to make it better. Be nice and plead with it? Still messes up. Swear and threaten it? Still messes up. Those are the days you just gotta breathe and take your time and hope the hissy fit passes.

It's good to know I'm not alone, even though I don't always sense the swirly inkiness under the machine. Sometimes, they are just machines. (Or my radar is off.)

Re: awwww!!!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

If they throw a hussy fit, I usually pull out the firm reasonable babysitter voice.

"Look. It's hot (or cold or busy or slow or whatever else), you'regrumpy, I'm grumpy everyone in here is grumpy. This is what I need, and this is what you are doing. I have to get this thing done. Play nice and I will stop bugging you so much"

That usually works a bit better than threats or pretty pleases for me, but sometimes the Machine is just in a "NO!" Mood.

Re: awwww!!!!!!!

[fuzzyred]

Hmm... Maybe I will try that next time.

I've sort of done a combination of that and pleading. "I know you're grumpy and don't want to do this but I need you to work so could you *please* behave? I'd really appreciate it." Which is usually followed by another problem, some frustration on my part before I try being nice again, and then usually it settles down.

Maybe the babysitter voice will be more effective.

I'm familiar with the "NO" moods. Seems like there are days when nothing goes right, but I can't really blame them; my company prefers the "lube and duct tape" solutions (sometimes literally) over preventitive maintenance. And then they wonder why they can't get the production numbera they want. *eye roll*