I think I've gone 'round the bend again...

[fuzzyred]

If you go around enough bends, do you end up facing normal again?

Sitting at work (on afternoons this week) and not for the first time I am bargaining with the machines. Now, I talk to everything so this isn't strange in and of itself, but imagining the machines as having an inky, swirly mass as a spirit? Ones who feed off oil and dirt, and have different likes and interests and like treats?

Logic says it's just my imagination and they are figments I created to pass the time, but it doesn't feel like I made them up, they feel more like entities that have their own preferences. I'm not a writer, so I wouldn't know, but maybe this is how some authors feel about their characters? Or are their actually spirit beings in the machines that appreciate fluffy blankets, kind words, and various spices?

Comments

awwww!!!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

Honest, Machines know people in the office. The mass fax/print/scan/copy/store/whoever else knows what else it do? at my old job had favorite people.

It knew if you were talking bad about it and it would find a way to spray you with toner or belch ink on your shoes or create the Worst Paper Jam Ever in the middle of a huge job.

It knew if you were being nice, I swear it knew how to PURR.

It PLAYED PRANKS ON ITS OWN!!! I kind you not.

It was either SENTIENT or possessed by rogue office gremlins. The ones that steal the good pens and take your best white out as tribute.

But I think it was sentient.

At my current job, there is one computer that refuses to work correctly for me. It eats data I input. It goes on the fritz and shuts down right when I need it. It hates me. And it knows I am annoyed with it. It won't tell me what it wants either, so I call it Oscar and I don't think it likes that.

Re: awwww!!!!!!!

[fuzzyred]

LMAO Thank you for the laugh. I'm sorry there is an office computer that hates you.

I definitely agree with the reaction to people's moods. Sometimes I would swear the machines are throwing a tantrum, and *nothing* works to make it better. Be nice and plead with it? Still messes up. Swear and threaten it? Still messes up. Those are the days you just gotta breathe and take your time and hope the hissy fit passes.

It's good to know I'm not alone, even though I don't always sense the swirly inkiness under the machine. Sometimes, they are just machines. (Or my radar is off.)

Re: awwww!!!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

If they throw a hussy fit, I usually pull out the firm reasonable babysitter voice.

"Look. It's hot (or cold or busy or slow or whatever else), you'regrumpy, I'm grumpy everyone in here is grumpy. This is what I need, and this is what you are doing. I have to get this thing done. Play nice and I will stop bugging you so much"

That usually works a bit better than threats or pretty pleases for me, but sometimes the Machine is just in a "NO!" Mood.

Re: awwww!!!!!!!

[fuzzyred]

Hmm... Maybe I will try that next time.

I've sort of done a combination of that and pleading. "I know you're grumpy and don't want to do this but I need you to work so could you *please* behave? I'd really appreciate it." Which is usually followed by another problem, some frustration on my part before I try being nice again, and then usually it settles down.

Maybe the babysitter voice will be more effective.

I'm familiar with the "NO" moods. Seems like there are days when nothing goes right, but I can't really blame them; my company prefers the "lube and duct tape" solutions (sometimes literally) over preventitive maintenance. And then they wonder why they can't get the production numbera they want. *eye roll*

[technoshaman]

all of what a nonny mouser said above, and this:

The best ones are _all_ 'round the bend. *hugs*

[fuzzyred]

:D Yes, I have found that too. *hugs*

[manglefox]

We as a system once got a computer second-hand from some dear friends who sold him to us because our beloved laptop Despereaux was dying.
When we got this computer, which was running Windows Vista (Despereaux was running XP) we had no end of trouble out of him till Axel came into front, looked at the computer and verbally told him who he was, that he was a friend of the good folken who'd owned this laptop, and promised to be a good laptop owner.
After that, the trouble we were having instantly stopped. Pretty sure Umlaut von Vaiobraten (Our friends named him, engraved the name on the corner of the top frame of the screen and everything) was sentient. He was definitely one of the best laptops we could ask for. However, he was still persnickety around other people. But he gave us seven years of solid, daily-use service, for hours a day, before he started overheating. He's in Tennessee and we're in California, or we could probably still boot him up.
But seven years, for a computer that had already been used a lot for like two or three before we got him is pretty great.
All this to say you're not round the bend.

[fuzzyred]

I don't think I've ever met a laptop with that much personality, but I'm glad you were able to reason with him and that he ended up working so well for you.
It is vwey nice to have additional confirmation that I'm not crazy, at least not for *this* reason.

J

[we_are_spc]

There are.

I miss my maschines. They chose their names and everything-and then when I left for colorado, they were sad. (So was I.)

While they didn't necessarily like physical *things* they loved my singing spirit when I worked with them. The would often sing back, so to speak, and I would whirl around the room humming; I was happy back there.

I miss that.

-T~

[fuzzyred]

That sounds like a lovely thing to have. I'm sorry you had to leave them behind. Perhaps you will find new machines in you new place that make you happy too.

I'm not certain you could say mine like *things* as such, since all of it is thought as opposed to physical items, and I'm probably projecting, but they all seem to like spices of varying kinds, fluffy pillows, and have different interests in hobbies, such as vehicles, mountains, or dolls.

(I may have an over-active imagination in this regard.)

[we_are_spc]

You don't. Luca insisted on heing 'covered' so to speak for thenight before I left for the day; Renee...he was French. He had the accent and everything. He *hated* glossy paper, as in he would fuck it up if I cam near him with that shit. He would scold me if I didn't close his cabinet for the day.

Jenna...she was just chill. Unless she jammed up, theln I could swear I heard her cursing...though in what language, I could never tell.

She was all about the music. If I didn't have something going, she'd whimper like a puppy. She hated silence. Unless she was 'sleeping' in which case she didn't mind it.

-T~

[fuzzyred]

Those sounds like quite interesting machines, and like you had them figured out pretty well. I can see why you would miss them, and why they would miss you.

[we_are_spc]

Those braille embossers wee like my life for a while. I knew all their quirks and everything. Bosma Enterprises shut down their print shop. Had I the funds and the room at the time, I'd've gladly snatched all of them up. Goddammit I miss them still.

[fuzzyred]

It sounds like they were very important to you. I'm glad you had something you connected with like that, though sad that circumstances didn't allow you to purchase them and keep them in your life.

[stealthsystem]

Psst. Normal's just a setting on the clothes dryer. A lot can be said for subjective experiences, and just because others can't see something doesn't make it untrue.
Michie

[fuzzyred]

That is a helpful reminder, thank you. It can be hard to remember that other's opinions don't have to matter.

[stealthsystem]

It really can be. That's half the reason we still deal with denial spirals.
Good luck!
Sabrina and Serina

[fuzzyred]

*hug* That sounds like all kinds of no fun. It does get a little easier as you go, to not listen to all the negative voices and all the ones who don't matter.

Thank you!