>>While you can control your own feelings in a situation, most people, once aroused, are not so keen to “walk away empty-handed” (so to speak).<<
I think this is where I'm different from most people; I can feel sexual arousal, but be perfectly happy ignoring it and just letting it sit in favour of enjoying the other sensations/activities that are going on (although I do have a point-of-no-return, in a manner of speaking).
>>The contradiction comes when you introduce the phrase “sensual touch”. To me this is something that is shared and enjoyed for its own sake, without needing to turn into something more.<<
That makes a lot of sense. Many of the things I listed above fall into the "sensual" category for me, although they do sometimes lead to arousal. It seems that most people use those activities as foreplay, which is fine, but not necessarily what I'm looking for. I'd prefer them to be the main event most of the time.
>>If the act is being used in order to create arousal, I don’t see it as being sensual anymore - at that point it has crossed over to erotic/sexual.<<
This makes sense too, although this is the point where it gets a little blurry for me. An activity, for example tracing designs on my back, can start sensual but then it can raise feelings of arousal. ... *aha moment* I just realized that I didn't quite ask the right question, although the clearer definitions certainly help. "Sensual" and "erotic/sexual" are two different things for me (and in general), and the first can lead to the second, but I rarely want to ACT on the second. I'd rather let the arousal simmer in the background and just focus on the sensual, if that makes any sense at all.
The trouble is communicating that to partners, because many people want to act on arousal as soon as it pops up, whereas I generally don't.
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Re: One person’s take...
Date: 2021-02-11 01:33 am (UTC)I think this is where I'm different from most people; I can feel sexual arousal, but be perfectly happy ignoring it and just letting it sit in favour of enjoying the other sensations/activities that are going on (although I do have a point-of-no-return, in a manner of speaking).
>>The contradiction comes when you introduce the phrase “sensual touch”. To me this is something that is shared and enjoyed for its own sake, without needing to turn into something more.<<
That makes a lot of sense. Many of the things I listed above fall into the "sensual" category for me, although they do sometimes lead to arousal. It seems that most people use those activities as foreplay, which is fine, but not necessarily what I'm looking for. I'd prefer them to be the main event most of the time.
>>If the act is being used in order to create arousal, I don’t see it as being sensual anymore - at that point it has crossed over to erotic/sexual.<<
This makes sense too, although this is the point where it gets a little blurry for me. An activity, for example tracing designs on my back, can start sensual but then it can raise feelings of arousal. ... *aha moment* I just realized that I didn't quite ask the right question, although the clearer definitions certainly help. "Sensual" and "erotic/sexual" are two different things for me (and in general), and the first can lead to the second, but I rarely want to ACT on the second. I'd rather let the arousal simmer in the background and just focus on the sensual, if that makes any sense at all.
The trouble is communicating that to partners, because many people want to act on arousal as soon as it pops up, whereas I generally don't.