>>I'm not very familiar with Tantra or other things, so this was a nice piece of information to learn.<<
There are multiple schools and definitions of Tantra, and it spans a variety of practices, some of which are erotic and/or sexual, others not. It is possible to enjoy erotic activities without spilling your energy. Some people find this more gratifying than a quick fuck ending in a few seconds of orgasm.
>>That, I'm very familiar with. I also like the way you phrased it, and I'm going to keep that in my back pocket in case it comes in handy.<<
I'm happy I could help.
Consider that some types of kink are really, really hardcore intimacy and vulnerability based on mental and emotional penetration. Power exchange is potent stuff. Sex can be, but it isn't always; sometimes it's just a fun physical activity. A particular facet of kink is orgasm denial, in which the top may stimulate the bottom mercilessly with no orgasm, often without even any genital contact. So kink can be sexual, erotic, sensual, or platonic depending on what people want.
Look back over some of the writing with Ricasso, Pain's Gray, Shiv, and Bennett to see examples of kink along various points of the spectrum.
>> That is another good comparison to have, and it helps to not feel so alone or wonder if I'm crazy. <<
You are not alone or crazy. There are over 7 billion people on the planet; uniquities are rare. It's just that some things are uncommon and hard to find other people into them.
>> The general public so often lumps "erotic" and "sexual" together, I wasn't entirely certain they could be separate, even though I'm starting to realize they might be for me, at least a lot of the time. <<
They also tend to conflate sex and gender. Most of them never even looked at the stuff, just took the factory standard model and found it worked for them and didn't look any farther.
Bear in mind that, in order to identify two things as separate, you must actually be able to separate them -- to find instances in which each occurs independently of the other, either isolated or mismatched. People who have only ever seen male/masculine and female/feminine tend not to realize there could be other options, and the same is true for erotic/sexual or for sexual/intimate and a bunch of other stuff.
Plenty has been written about human sexuality. Some of it is good, some is bunk. It's pretty interesting reading. As a gender scholar, it's one of my favorite topics. I just take a much wider approach than most humans do.
And you know, even after decades of experience and being romantic (as far as I know) myself, I still can't pin down what's the difference between romantic and queerplatonic ties of the same depth, after you take out kissing on the mouth which seems to be the only thing romantic couples routinely do that platonic couples usually don't (not counting sex, which isn't the same as romance). To me it just seems like a slightly different flavor of feeling. I have to wonder if some other people experience it differently, given their descriptions.
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Re: Well ...
Date: 2021-02-17 06:15 am (UTC)There are multiple schools and definitions of Tantra, and it spans a variety of practices, some of which are erotic and/or sexual, others not. It is possible to enjoy erotic activities without spilling your energy. Some people find this more gratifying than a quick fuck ending in a few seconds of orgasm.
https://hridaya-yoga.com/what-is-tantra/
https://omstars.com/blog/meditation-guide/what-is-tantra-a-primer-on-tantric-meditation/
https://www.consciouslifestylemag.com/sacred-sex-practices-tantra/
https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/news/a33304/full-body-orgasm-tantric-sex/
http://tantrawiki.com/wiki/Orgasm_control
>>That, I'm very familiar with. I also like the way you phrased it, and I'm going to keep that in my back pocket in case it comes in handy.<<
I'm happy I could help.
Consider that some types of kink are really, really hardcore intimacy and vulnerability based on mental and emotional penetration. Power exchange is potent stuff. Sex can be, but it isn't always; sometimes it's just a fun physical activity. A particular facet of kink is orgasm denial, in which the top may stimulate the bottom mercilessly with no orgasm, often without even any genital contact. So kink can be sexual, erotic, sensual, or platonic depending on what people want.
Look back over some of the writing with Ricasso, Pain's Gray, Shiv, and Bennett to see examples of kink along various points of the spectrum.
>> That is another good comparison to have, and it helps to not feel so alone or wonder if I'm crazy. <<
You are not alone or crazy. There are over 7 billion people on the planet; uniquities are rare. It's just that some things are uncommon and hard to find other people into them.
>> The general public so often lumps "erotic" and "sexual" together, I wasn't entirely certain they could be separate, even though I'm starting to realize they might be for me, at least a lot of the time. <<
They also tend to conflate sex and gender. Most of them never even looked at the stuff, just took the factory standard model and found it worked for them and didn't look any farther.
Bear in mind that, in order to identify two things as separate, you must actually be able to separate them -- to find instances in which each occurs independently of the other, either isolated or mismatched. People who have only ever seen male/masculine and female/feminine tend not to realize there could be other options, and the same is true for erotic/sexual or for sexual/intimate and a bunch of other stuff.
Plenty has been written about human sexuality. Some of it is good, some is bunk. It's pretty interesting reading. As a gender scholar, it's one of my favorite topics. I just take a much wider approach than most humans do.
And you know, even after decades of experience and being romantic (as far as I know) myself, I still can't pin down what's the difference between romantic and queerplatonic ties of the same depth, after you take out kissing on the mouth which seems to be the only thing romantic couples routinely do that platonic couples usually don't (not counting sex, which isn't the same as romance). To me it just seems like a slightly different flavor of feeling. I have to wonder if some other people experience it differently, given their descriptions.