>> many people want to act on arousal as soon as it “pops up” << LMAO! Pun intended or no? Because I got a good chuckle out of that one.
But seriously folks...
>> I’d rather ... just focus on the sensual, if that makes any sense << It makes perfect sense, at least to other sensual people (takes one to know one, though we’re few and far between). Let’s look at your example of tracing designs on your back.
For you, I can think of many different things you would be experiencing: the excitement of being exposed in front of someone; the tingles and scratches from a pen tip; the distinct smell of a marker; arousal when a hand incidentally brushes against buttocks or breasts. You’re taking pleasure from the acts themselves. For another sensual person, their (our) enjoyment is tied to those very same things: the adrenaline rush of seeing you exposed; hearing the little giggles as the pen traces around, maybe causing a tickle here and there; seeing the wrinkle in your nose from the marker smell; hearing the faint moan caused by the brush of skin on skin. This is what I mean by “shared and enjoyed for its own sake”. Sure, there’s bound to be some arousal on both sides, but it’s not the raison d’être, and both can be perfectly satisfied with just this experience itself.
>> The trouble is communicating that to partners << Absolutely. Because the vast majority of people are sexual, not sensual, and don’t really understand that there’s a difference. They’ll take part in sensual activities, but their real motivation (whether conscious or not) is that it will eventually lead to sexual activities.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: One person’s take...
Date: 2021-02-11 06:51 am (UTC)But seriously folks...
>> I’d rather ... just focus on the sensual, if that makes any sense << It makes perfect sense, at least to other sensual people (takes one to know one, though we’re few and far between). Let’s look at your example of tracing designs on your back.
For you, I can think of many different things you would be experiencing: the excitement of being exposed in front of someone; the tingles and scratches from a pen tip; the distinct smell of a marker; arousal when a hand incidentally brushes against buttocks or breasts. You’re taking pleasure from the acts themselves.
For another sensual person, their (our) enjoyment is tied to those very same things: the adrenaline rush of seeing you exposed; hearing the little giggles as the pen traces around, maybe causing a tickle here and there; seeing the wrinkle in your nose from the marker smell; hearing the faint moan caused by the brush of skin on skin.
This is what I mean by “shared and enjoyed for its own sake”. Sure, there’s bound to be some arousal on both sides, but it’s not the raison d’être, and both can be perfectly satisfied with just this experience itself.
>> The trouble is communicating that to partners << Absolutely. Because the vast majority of people are sexual, not sensual, and don’t really understand that there’s a difference. They’ll take part in sensual activities, but their real motivation (whether conscious or not) is that it will eventually lead to sexual activities.