Learning the Basics: Wants and Needs
Jan. 29th, 2019 04:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fuzzyredThis has been a very busy week, between the wedding Friday, recovering and plans the rest of the weekend, and a very unfortunate bout of binge reading last night. The story I was reading was absolutely enjoyable, but staying up until 2am was ill-advised, especially since I have to be at work for 6:30am.
As a result, I haven't made as much progress as I wanted to but I did make some. I read the links on wants and needs (emotions will have to wait until next week) and I learned something about myself. Even though figuring out my desires, the things I really want and would lead to a satisfying, happy life, is an important thing that I should be doing, probably before most other things, I am not at a place where I can do that yet. This link, wants, seems like it would be helpful for identifying my desires. It is well thought out and well written. However, it sounds like an enormous amount of work and I really don't want to put that effort in right now.
This is a hard thing for me because I should want to be a better person, shouldn't I? I should want to figure out what I need to feel fulfilled and it feels extremely lazy to say "I don't want to do that right now". It is partly an avoidance thing. I'm not sure why I shy away from it so much, but looking that deep into myself is scary and that on top of the effort it would take makes it not worth it at the moment.
This next link is also a little bit beyond what I can handle right now, but it is closer to doable. It makes sense to me and seems almost like the work could happen subconsciously. I know I need to put actual, conscious work into this to see results, but this helps it feel a little more achievable and a little less like climbing Mount Everest. Getting through this link is a near-future goal.
This last link was the most immediately helpful, though the tone of it was a little off to me. A bit pushy, and a bit narrow, since it was aimed at easing financial stress and not meeting life needs on a personal, intimate level. This does help with framing a little bit and being mindful of needs versus wants from a material perspective might be good practice. I am stable financially and not struggle with debt or savings, so I don't worry too much about indulging my wants. I do still stop and take a moment (usually) to figure out if I actually need to do or buy the thing, because I don't need clutter and while I do have money, I don't want to spend it frivolously. Having this bit under control actually makes me feel a bit better. And the fact that I can use this to practice analyzing my wants, needs, and desires on a superficial level will hopefully give me a boost for the deeper stuff.
Extra work on finding coping skills: possibly to be added later. The weekend and staying up so late last night really wore on me and I abruptly ran out of spoons not long ago. If they replenish enough before bed, I may add more here. If not, I shall add about the practical work on coping skills next week.
As a result, I haven't made as much progress as I wanted to but I did make some. I read the links on wants and needs (emotions will have to wait until next week) and I learned something about myself. Even though figuring out my desires, the things I really want and would lead to a satisfying, happy life, is an important thing that I should be doing, probably before most other things, I am not at a place where I can do that yet. This link, wants, seems like it would be helpful for identifying my desires. It is well thought out and well written. However, it sounds like an enormous amount of work and I really don't want to put that effort in right now.
This is a hard thing for me because I should want to be a better person, shouldn't I? I should want to figure out what I need to feel fulfilled and it feels extremely lazy to say "I don't want to do that right now". It is partly an avoidance thing. I'm not sure why I shy away from it so much, but looking that deep into myself is scary and that on top of the effort it would take makes it not worth it at the moment.
This next link is also a little bit beyond what I can handle right now, but it is closer to doable. It makes sense to me and seems almost like the work could happen subconsciously. I know I need to put actual, conscious work into this to see results, but this helps it feel a little more achievable and a little less like climbing Mount Everest. Getting through this link is a near-future goal.
This last link was the most immediately helpful, though the tone of it was a little off to me. A bit pushy, and a bit narrow, since it was aimed at easing financial stress and not meeting life needs on a personal, intimate level. This does help with framing a little bit and being mindful of needs versus wants from a material perspective might be good practice. I am stable financially and not struggle with debt or savings, so I don't worry too much about indulging my wants. I do still stop and take a moment (usually) to figure out if I actually need to do or buy the thing, because I don't need clutter and while I do have money, I don't want to spend it frivolously. Having this bit under control actually makes me feel a bit better. And the fact that I can use this to practice analyzing my wants, needs, and desires on a superficial level will hopefully give me a boost for the deeper stuff.
Extra work on finding coping skills: possibly to be added later. The weekend and staying up so late last night really wore on me and I abruptly ran out of spoons not long ago. If they replenish enough before bed, I may add more here. If not, I shall add about the practical work on coping skills next week.
