Bingo fill: Crossdressing

[fuzzyred]

A quatern for the "crossdressing" square on my Mixed bingo card for the Valentine's fest.

"Expressing Yourself"
-a quatern

Find clothes to fit mind and body:
hard to do when outside the norms.
Clothes pinch here, sag there, not quite right,
still waiting to find the right fit.

Dresses and skirts hold no appeal.
Find clothes to fit mind and body;
A quest that is yet ongoing
to find that first perfect item.

Ample curves and a short stature
cause a challenging prospect to
find clothes that fit mind and body;
slacks and buttons downs are rare gems.

Mens' ensembles ill-suit this form
while womens' make the soul itchy
but the hope is still alive to
find clothes that fit mind and body.

Comments

[technoshaman]

We've gotten reasonably comfortable in our own skin, and found clothes to match it - mostly soft cotton tees and nearly as soft dockers custom-hemmed to fit our stubby pins... _and_ there's something about that that touches deeply... I don't know why, but it does. Thank you.

[fuzzyred]

I'm glad it resonated with you. And that you are at a point to be mostly comfortable in your skin. :)

[kellan_the_tabby]

*big hearts*

[fuzzyred]

Thank you!

My take on the matter

[ng_moonmoth]

We seem to be looking at the same issue of being stereotyped by our body and presentation, from different angles. I appreciated your take. I got a lot more comfortable once I found a way to reframe the issue that worked for me. In the same format:

I am neither man nor woman,
Yet every item of clothing
Is marked for one or the other.
So when am I not crossdressing?

Stores sort their clothing by gender.
I am neither man nor woman.
Where is my clothing department?
I search, but I cannot find it.

Calling clothes "men's" or "women's" is
Just other people's opinions.
I am neither man nor woman;
The whole store is my department.

I choose the clothing that suits me.
I mark those clothes for my gender.
I am no longer crossdressing.
I am neither man nor woman.

Re: My take on the matter

[fuzzyred]

I'm glad my take came off well; I was a little worried about not handling the subject as well as it deserves. I'm still figuring out exactly what I like to wear, and find myself less bothered by looking in the "wrong" department as time goes on.

Your poem is really well done! I can really feel your perspective coming through, and it's neat how the poem seems to show growth as it goes on. :D

Re: My take on the matter

[ng_moonmoth]

You spoke your own truth, from the heart. And did so even though it does not align with popular conceptions. That should be all anyone can want as far as handling the subject goes. And those of us who have found our own truths in such matters notice, and appreciate, your own convictions.

Perhaps you will someday find a reframing that fits your mind and body, and from which you can draw strength. Or yours may be another way. Whatever it is, I hope it comes. You will instantly know when it does.

Thank you for the compliments. Being public with my own experience is one way I can help diminish the power of obligatory gendering and gender policing. (I am still looking for a custom button vendor at conventions I am attending. I want one in genderqueer colors that says, "Defund the Gender Police".) And showing that our experiences are similar in some ways, while being diverse in others, is something I can hope will enrich the general understanding of who we are and how we move through life.

Re: My take on the matter

[fuzzyred]

Thank you. Honestly, I think this matter is the same as just about everything else for me; I'm just different enough to feel it, but not so different as to be easily classified, or for others to notice right away. "Female" fits me well enough for my purposes, but clothes and fashion have always been iffy for me. As I go on, I'm realizing that I'd rather shop in the department that meets my needs (longer shorts, actual pockets) rather than the one I *should* shop in. And it feels right, so for now, I will keep doing it.

Thank you :) I feel like I am still finding myself in many regards, but the more informed searching I do, the better I get to know myself.

Good luck with your efforts, and I hope you can find that button you want. :)