Sexuality

[fuzzyred]

ysabetwordsmith has posts for Asexual Awareness Week, and today's post is about the various terms and ways to describe yourself if you are on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. Below I posted the ones that are most relevant to me.

-sexual: “I want to have sex with you”

-romantic: “I want to date you”

-sensual: “I want to hug/kiss you”

-platonic: “I want to be friends with you”

-alterous: can best be described as desiring emotional closeness with someone; is neither platonic nor romantic but rather somewhere in between the two

Grey: the feeling of usually not having any attraction except occasionally depending on the situation; typically paired with asexual and aromantic
Gray-A:
1) do not normally experience sexual attraction, but can sometimes.
2) Have sexual attraction but a low sex drive
3) Have sexual attraction and drive but no desire to act upon it.
4) Those who have sexual attraction and drive but only under limited and specific circumstances.

Alternative definition:
Gray-A: (also spelled “Grey-A”) is a gray area between asexuality and sexuality

Quoiromantic - Is someone whose romantic orientation is on the aromantic spectrum that describes people who cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore are not sure if they experience it, experience attraction somewhere between romantic and platonic, or want to be in a queerplatonic relationship. It’s also known as WTFromantic or Whatromantic or Platoniromantic.

I didn't have words before, but these ones fot pretty well. My usually stance is "I'm just me", but sometimes having words can help explain the differences to other people. Grey-A fits pretty well, especially the second point. Quoiromantic is a close fit, but I think it might be more accurate to say I have a hard time distinguishing between romantic and sensual attraction. Or possibly between senusal and sexual attraction? I want close relationships, but I can't always tell if wanting to cuddle someone means I want to date them and I have an absolutely frightful time trying to figure out what "romantic love" feels like. And on top of that, the Grey-A part of me means that I don't necessarily want sex to be a big part of a serious, long-term relationship. I also think it's possible that I'm demisexual, since I can feel aesthetic attraction without it necessarily being sexual attraction, and I usually feel more sexual attraction once I know someone.

On a somewhat related note, does anyone know a word that means "turned on by words" or "someone who's sexual desire is mainly driven by words"? A word like that would be mighty handy.

Self exploration is fun, but it can also be a little scary and a bit daunting. Have any of you had a hard time finding the right words to describe "you"?

Comments

[technoshaman]

"Sapiosexual" is attracted to intelligence, and noetisexual (ME!) is attracted to the way someone thinks independent of IQ... both of those are heavily influenced by words and wordplay, but very often especially noetisexual will also have to do with artistic sensibility, kindness, compassion, sense of humour that isn't necessarily wordy...

Turned on by words *strictly*... that one I haven't heard, but... I kinda like the thought of it. ;)

[fuzzyred]

Those are interesting and useful terms, but not really what I need, though noetisexual is closer than sapiosexual.

It's not so much that I'm turned on *only* by words, just that I need them to kick start the process. My natural desire for sexual satisfaction is rather low; I'm not opposed to it, but I feel no real need for it most of the time. If I'm not already in the mood, I *need* the words to get in the mood; physical foreplay doesn't engage my brain enough, so the sexual touch just feels pointless or wrong, sometimes even icky. And I have yet to find a succinct way to describe that.