Goal progress and Bad managers

[fuzzyred]

This week I've made some decent progress on website updates, made it to the gym both for yoga and cardio, made myself dinner, and made the Blueberry Angel Dessert from a post ysabetwordsmith made about coloured recipes for Valentine's day.

On an unrelated note, I really dislike bad managers. The one I've had to deal with this week sucks at handling people. No acknowledgement for jobs well done, and harping on all the things that should have been done instead. It makes me not want to do anything extra for them. It's a fast way to alienate all of your employees and create a toxic workplace. I wish I could fix it but I have no idea how.

ETA: I am watching an episode of The Closer right now, and a little boy ends up missing then dead after asking to ride his bike two summer camp. The camp was 2 blocks away, the boy was 9, and it looked like a decent neighbourhood. Everyone is acting like letting him ride his bike was a terrible failure on the mother's part. Assuming the boy demonstrated basic safety knowledge and responsibilty, isn't letting him ride his bike reasonable? Bubble wrapping children against every possible harm isn't practical, or helpful.

Comments

[technoshaman]

Conventional wisdom is if possible make friends with boss's boss. If this isn't possible, prepare your resume and start making connections outside the company.

My filkish brain notes that "bad manager" scans to "Smooth Criminal"...

[fuzzyred]

The boss has multiple bosses, of varying goodness. I deal with the good ones as much as possible. Eventually I might look for something else, but right now it is only a minor annoyance and the pay is good, with benefits and a defined contribution pension plan.

😁😁 That would be an interesting parody.

[ng_moonmoth]

>> Bubble wrapping children against every possible harm isn't practical, or helpful. <<

What I've seen suggests it's actively harmful. Much like the "must have everything clean and sanitized" mania that was prevalent late last century or so led to increased likelihood of disorders in immune systems that had not been exposed to a sufficient variety of not-self while they were at their most flexible and adaptable.

Giving children independence and freedom of movement commensurate with their experience in same seems from here to be vital in fostering those same qualities as they come into their adulthood. The time period where this process was compromised by a feeling that one was not a proper parent if one ever let one's children out of sight of someone personally responsible for them matches up all too well with the rise in boomerang children for my taste.

[fuzzyred]

I agree. If the skills aren't taught at a young age, it makes being an independent adult who has their shit together a lot harder. Floundering on your own is less productive and leads to more stress for the individual, as opposed to being giving help and encouragemebt at the right tine to learn how to do the necessary things.

Boomerang children?

[ng_moonmoth]

>> Floundering on your own is less productive and leads to more stress for the individual, <<

One problem is that many of them don't even get to flounder. There are too many stories about children who are shuttled to school, and then scheduled activity after scheduled activity etc. until they get picked up and taken home to wrap things up for the day. Is it any wonder that people like those often don't have a clue how to do much for themselves?

As opposed to what was common for my cohort, where as long as Mom knew where I was going, and I checked in when I got there, what I did was my business. That started by being responsible for walking to school by myself once I could be trusted to cross the street safely, and went on from there.

>> Boomerang children? <<

They go out on their own, and like a thrown boomerang, go around in a circle and wind up back at home where they started.

[fuzzyred]

>>One problem is that many of them don't even get to flounder. There are too many stories about children who are shuttled to school, and then scheduled activity after scheduled activity etc. until they get picked up and taken home to wrap things up for the day. Is it any wonder that people like those often don't have a clue how to do much for themselves?<<

Huh. That might explain a lot actually. My sister (2.5 years younger) and I were in daycare after school until I was twelve, due to home circumstances and being too far from home to get there safely. Though after that point I was trusted to watch us until mom got home from work. Things like Home Alone and Babysitting classes are useful for learning the basic skills there and I've never been a crazy wild child.

There wasn't very much being trusted to go somewhere alone though.

>>They go out on their own, and like a thrown boomerang, go around in a circle and wind up back at home where they started.<<

Ah, that makes sense. I actually waited longer to leave home to make sure I didn't do that; once I left I wanted to be sure I wouldn't have to go back.

[ng_moonmoth]

>> There wasn't very much being trusted to go somewhere alone though. <<

Yeah, I was a teenager by the time the "stranger danger" overreaction had ramped up to the point where that vanished.

(The word that used to be a common choice for the feeling I wrote "overreaction" for is one I'm not using any more, due to its historical inference that it was peculiar to women and driven by their wombs.)

>> I actually waited longer to leave home to make sure I didn't do that; once I left I wanted to be sure I wouldn't have to go back. <<

I left as soon as I was ready. My folks made sure that all their children got to learn enough of the skills needed to live on their own. I recognized that I wouldn't really have a chance to find out who I was unless I did. I went far enough away that popping over for a visit (in either direction) was not going to be A Thing.

Part of that independence for me was paying for my own postgraduate education and living expenses. I wouldn't have felt like I was calling my own shots if my folks were.