random stuff

[fuzzyred]

All the pool money has been sent in, so there should be lots of new poems over the next couple days!

Does anyone have any links or tips for increasing confidence amd the ability to say "no" definitively? These are both things I need to work on, but I'm not quite sure how. And I'd rather have the skills before I need them, than have to try to forge them in a crisis.

Comments

[fuzzyred]

That sounds like something I would get myself into, so I can sympathise.

That is useful advice and may very well come in handy for me. It also reminds me of a link ysabetwordsmith sent recently, 20 ways to say no. It's worth a look if this is still something that's hard for you.

I think my problem is similar but not quite the same. I'm usually worried about disappointing or letting down the other person if I say no, and I tend to be persceptive to other people's energies (I'm working on my shielding). Although there may also be a little bit of worry tied in there about not being liked; if I upset someone by telling them no, they might like me less.

The other problem is that I picked up the habit early on of saying yes to avoid tantrums from family members. That makes it a lot harder now to find where my boundaries of "I don't want to do this" are, and makes enforcing them harder. If I'm just apathetic, bored, or disinterested, I'll go along with it to save the hassle. Breaking that pattern now that I can is proving to be challenging.